Friday, December 23, 2011

that's how it ends.just be grateful ceya!

Oh, the last class had ended yesterday.
I cried. I cried terribly until the late evening.
I tried my hard not to cry in front of others, all time, 
since my school days. not even front of my parents.
But I shed buckets of tears yesterday.
Yes of course, one of the reason is the 'perpisahan' between us (the class member).
Eyusaaa made a video specially dedicated to the class, 
but again I am not crying because the video that time,
as I am the first person to watch it two days before the preview day.
But I started crying when the video is showing, 
because my tears are more on what happened between us as a class.

Lots had happened. It's five semesters, almost 3 years memories.
Some of you, we are close at first, but at the end we seems like are not.
Some of you, pretend to be close with me, but talk bad about me behind.
Some of you, I  feel dekat and the love, tapi sayang dah nak habis semester.
Some of you, I feel so hard to berpisah with, but this is how a pertemuan ends.

When we are attracted, we start to repel each other. May I know why?
Did I do something bad? Did I ever said something hurts you? 
do something bleeds your heart?
Then,  you guys? 
never hurt me? never do or say anything bleeds me? 
The fact is, I am nothing and nobody. 
I have no bling-bling features like you guys do. 
I have quite dark skin, I am so skinny,
having a short-sightedness, not so bubbly,
 not so friendly until you start it,
not a caring showing person, I can't drive guys! 
I don't even marry a  Dato' or any Tan Sri,
 I am just lead a simple and moderate life, 
I am not a comel-comel type and 
I am not so creative like you guys do, 
I lack of confidence and many more. 
So why we can't be friends?
 Is it because of those weaknesses I have?

I tried my best to be as matured as I can.
 I am just 19 years old when we were first year, 
by mingle with almost 'matured' course mates, 
I have to be a women not a girl anymore. 
I always believe that 'big strong girl don't cry'.
So, I have try to handle my feelings, attitude and many more 
just to show that I can tolerate with you guys.
 I have to pretend and  forced 
my heart and brain to act like nothing happen and be sabar. 
I admit, I might do lots of mistakes that may hurt you guys,
so here is my apology, 
I am so so so sorry for what I have done to you guys, to every each of you.
You know I am not perfect, and for every single little thing that hurts you, 
which I might not realise,
 please forgive me :(
I can't say sorry face to face, as I might cry again.

Its time to go. I chose to run away from you guys.
I love broadcast journalism, will always love it.
but, cinta tak semestinya memiliki,
so, I guess the south will be the best place for me.
All the best for those in the industry lines,
I will always proud of you guys. :)

I am just a very simple girl. 
All I need is just sincerity and purity in our friendship. 
No politics please?
I love you guys. seriously. Everyone of you. 
Btw, pardon my english and grammar.I'm tried. :)

Salam perpisahan.

p/s - Thank you awak, for taking me away last evening, I even cried few times in the car. Thank you too by taking me to the clinic last night. You know I need you right?
 love love love you awak! ;)

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Back to the track, of blogspot. ^^

it's been a long long time since the last post published.
Lots of things happened this semester 
and hey, you know what? 
This is actually the last week of 'kuliah week',
before the 'study week' and of course the 'examination week'.
I should say, how time flies right?

Well, as this is the last semester before I am going to 'latihan industri', 
so am kind of busy with commitments, responsibilities, 
duties, assignments (of course) and many more!

So here are some recaps on what am I doing  for this semester, 
well, read it if you want, as this post is just like a diary for me. 
and if you don't, then lets skip to other post.hehe

There are 14 weeks all together in a semester.
So, lets make it in a nice chronology.

Week 1.
I am staying in a new college. Kolej Tun Hussein Onn.
Well ya, not so new, 
but still considered as new, (belit-belit tak?haha)
as with the new 'akak-akak office', 
'new' friends, 'new' cafe and 'new' roomate.
Well, everything is not so new. 
As if my heart is been so close to this college before, perhaps.
My new roomate is not a stranger. I got to know her before.
But now, we might not so close, 
but sometimes we do share lots of thing together. 
Later, I will explain more about her ;)

Week 2. 
Emmm....can I do the details tommorow?
Promise! I have to do something important right now.
I will share my experience as Controller of Radio MIDAS, my group won the PSA's contest organised by Primework Studios, had a wonderful tiring shooting in a scary mysterious house, mystery of a cat in my room,  browny as a birthday give, a surprise birthday ice cream from coursemates, outing with 19 people till 5 in the morning,
 a ask to get engage and more stories.

So, which part are you eager to read about?hehe
See you soon bloggers. 
(konon ramai peminat ke makcik!.haha)

p/s - this is just about myself, things around me and I do appreciate  it. 
Alhamdulillah :)